My Life As An Army Wife

A story of My love for my soldier currently deployed in iraq. I Love You Mathew you are my everything.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I love you

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart that our hearts have come to dwell together, as one. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You are my best friend. You are my one true love. The day we met was fate. Our lives intertwining was fate. You are my destiny. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I'll love you more tomorrow than I do today. Love is the only thing that makes life worth living. Your love. With all my heart I am forever yours. From time to time you ask me why I chose you? What is so special about you? Well, the reason is simple. I chose you because you are YOU!!! I have never had anyone treat me the way you do. I have never had anyone just look at me and make me feel beautiful. You do that to me! You make me feel special and wanted. I would never do anything to hurt you. You mean more to me than you realize. I am hoping that one day I can prove all of this to you! I want you for you! You make me feel loved, you make me feel safe, but more importantly, you make me feel wanted, something that I hadn't felt in a very long time. You are my soul mate, my best friend, my inspiration, and my love. You make me feel special, like I'm your one and only. You make me feel like I'm a star in the sky lighting up your life. You make me feel safe when I'm near you, wrapped up in your arms. You make me feel like an angel from heaven because you never stop telling me how much you love me. You're always lighting up my heart with the things you do and say. I feel so happy just being with you this way. You're my baby, and will forever be my baby. You will always be the love of my life. I want you to know how much I love you. We have been through a lot these past months, but our love has always come out on top. You mean so much to me and I want so much to make you as happy as you make me. Each passing day has me falling more in love with you. You can do the slightest thing and it warms me. Most of the time you don't even realize it. You are always in my thoughts and in my heart. I never knew that love could be so wonderful until I met you. You have given me a new perspective on so many things. I will always treasure our love and keep it safe. I love you, Mathew.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

My Hubby Is a REAL Man!

Thought this was awesome. Proud to say My Husband wears BDU's! When we first met i use to tease him during our video confrences. I'd Say didn't you wear that yesterday? And he'd just laugh. I got a letter today that said a Soldier in Iraq loves you. I thought that was awesome. It made my day. Thank you Mat. I love you and miss you. The kiddos all say hello and they are doing great. We are all very proud of you baby. Keep your chin up. One more day down.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Together Forever

When i said " I DO" I meant it Forever. Hope You Know How Much I love You. Can't wait to hold You in my arms again Mathew. You Are My Everything.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Ok I can't Sleep

Just a lil note since i can't sleep. I love you! And i miss you.
Wish i could mail myself to you in Iraq.

Sorry i haven't Written

Sorry i haven't written. I had all five kiddos for four whole days. It is a handfull trying to feed them, bathe them, and play with them all. Whew! Can't wait till Mat gets back so i have some help. But we had fun. We all sat down and wrote Mathew letters. The 2 seven year olds and our five year old are learning to write so they each wrote their own letter to their daddy. then they helped our 2 three year olds do the same. The oldest asked me why i was placing lables on all the envelopes i just bought and she wanted to know why i write her daddy so many letters. I laughed and said to her when your married and you have to be apart for along time you need to write each other everyday to remind each other how much you love them. So that they don't forget and their day is better. She said "oh! well i better write my daddy too, so he don't forget about me." I reassured her that her daddy loved her very much and that he could never forget her or any of us. It kept me busy having them all to take care of. Its funny Mat and I are a blended family but you could never tell because all our kids look alike. When i take them to the mall everyone thinks our youngest two are twins. Which is awesome. I am thrilled to have my new lil family. Just can't wait to have Mat back fulltime. Hopefully i will get to talk to him tonight. He said hed call if he could. I love this man whole heartedly. I have never had anyone on my mind and in my heart so much in my entire life. I think of him every minute i am awake and dream of him when i am asleep. He and our children are my life. And i am so happy now i can hardly contain the way i feel. I am so Thankful that the good Lord blessed us the way he did. Well Thanks for listening. I love you Mathew Goodnight My Love.

Silent Rank

The Silent Rank

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens But I am in the Army in the ranks rarely seen I have no rank upon my shoulders - salutes I do not give But the military world is the place where I live I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get But my husband is the one who does, this I can not forget I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man And the call to serve his country not all can understand Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me I love the man I married, Soldiering is his life But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Army Wife
I love being married to my soldier.
Mathew Sweetheart hope you slept well the kids miss you and so do I.
We are very proud of you!
And we love you.
Love Your Family
Savannah, Sarah
Ethan, Baylee, and Turner

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

The Creed of an Army Wife

The creed of an ARMY wife.
I am the wife of an American soldier.
I am a support system and a member of a family
much larger than my own.
I serve the people of the United States and teach my children
the importance of the Army values.
My husband's heightened morale will remain my mission
For I understand that he will not be successful in fulfilling his duties
If I stray from mine.I will never give up
Nor will I allow my fears
To prevent the accomplishment of my duties.
I will never allow my husband to forget
The importance of his role as a soldier.
I am disciplined. My faith in God
will allow me to remain steadfast
Despite the loneliness and stress
that are constantly confronting me.
I will depend on Him so that my husband can depend on me.
I will ensure my husband never doubts
that he is a priority in my life.
I will maintain my family, my home, and myself.
My husband will never have to wonder where my devotion lies.
His focus will remain on the security of a nation
While mine remains on the security of our family.
I will remain faithful in my encouragement and my support.
I am a wife, mother, lover and friend.
I am the wife of an American soldier.

Sitting By The Phone

I tried to go to sleep but it isn't working... Something missing oh yeah my soldier Mathew.
Baby you complete my life and I am missing you. I wrote a little poem... Just a lil piece of me.

Here I sit by this phone, Just wishing it would ring, needing to hear the words of love, I know your call will bring. Once Again my day drags by, as I adapt to this new life, Spending my days and nights alone, as I wait for the time to pass. The hours pass, but they pass so slow, as I sit and await your call, I wipe away my tears, but more just seem to fall. I kiss our kiddos and tuck them in bed, and I watch as they fall asleep, I never knew that loneliness, could ever run this deep. As I sit here by this phone and wonder if your ok, there's only one thing that I can do, so I begin to pray. And I know that God heard me, as I bowed my head to him, because my phone started ringing, as I said keep him safe, Amen. As I picked up my phone, I whispered I love you, and my heart filled with joy again, when you said I love you too. I hold onto my phone, not wanting the call to end, so thankful for this time, we finally have to spend. The tears well up as you say goodbye, and I begin to weep, I take a deep breath and let out a sigh, as I try to fall asleep. But no matter where you are, we really aren't so far apart, It would take much more than distance, to separate our hearts. Because God joined our hearts in love, when we said those words for life, when you became my husband, and chose me for your wife.

I love you Mat. And I miss you. Please be safe. I'll be Thinking of you.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Proud Army Wife

So Proud Of You Baby Hope You Rested Well

Lovin You Mathew
Missing You Mathew
You are so Awesome Mat

Lil Prayer Candle

Praying For You Mat

I am so In Love

Mathew was able to call me back. He is so sweet. I don't think he knows how much the little things he does for me means to me. He works a 12 hour shift everyday and then trys to call me and talk. Sometimes he is so tired he can barely stay awake. But yet because he knows thats the only thing we have right now he does it anyways. I hear in his voice how tired he is and sometimes have to make him go to bed. I think it is so awesome that he misses me and loves me enough to do that. He has been sending me letters everyday sometimes i get 2. There are few things that i look forward to. One is the phone calls, Second the internet cafe when he can go and third mail time. Every time i feel my cell phone vibrate i pray its him. Because at least for that moment i know he is safe. I worry about him constantly. Not just about his safety, but is he getting enough sleep, does he eat enough, Is he feeling good. Things like that. I have never missed someone so badly in my life. He is all i think about. I take pictures of our kiddos and have them draw pictures for him. He is an awesome father. the kind every mother dreams of having for their kids. He gets down and plays with them on the floor, chases and tickles them, always finds some funny thing to do or say to make them laugh and even though together we have 5 still managed to play with them all equally. I love to see his smile when he holds them. And it makes me smile to see them piled on his lap all asleep including him. I thank the lord everyday for blessing me with such an awesome husband. He is the pefect man in my eyes. He is my hero and the hero of our little ones who look up to him. And i am very proud of the example he is showing them by serving our country to ensure their futures and their childrens futures are safer. Mathew as You Sleep i pray that even if you don't get alot of sleep that you wake up well rested and feel good. Everyday is one day closer to your return my love. I miss you and love you.

What Next

GOD! I am upset and need to vent. I had to let my husband who is in Iraq go from a phone call in order to mail his package at the post office. I had stood in line for an hour and 45 minutes just as he called it was almost my turn the lady said I had to end my call before she could help me or I had to go back to the end of the line. I had to let him go quickly as the line behind me was out the door. I asked if I could just put the phone in my pocket till I was done and she said no she couldn't help me till I ended the call so I quickly said babe you'll have to call me back and now I may have lost my only chance for today to talk to him in order to mail him a care package. WTF so not only do I have to be away from him and place my life on hold because were at war but I have to miss the only chance I may have had to talk to him just to mail him a package to make his time away a little more comfortable. They expect these soldiers and their families to make all these sacrifices and yet even after we do they turn around and take from me the one thing that makes my day better. My husbands voice. It may not be much to some people but it is the one thing that comforts me. And makes my day better. I love you Mathew. I hope you can call back.

I Love You Mathew

I love You Mathew

Operation Stand By My Man

Monday, January 09, 2006

Awaiting My Loves Return

My Life Changed The Day I Met Mathew.
All of the sudden life had purpose and I could see a future with only him. One Small little problem I was in Oklahoma and he was in Iraq. Still I felt something different when we talked. Something That sparked a change in my life. Finally I knew what my mother said true love was like. The day you can't imagine your life without the other person in it. It was the most amazing feeling in the entire world. We met online and started talking daily. I would rush home from work to talk to him. We met on October 6th 2005. One week into talking I felt myself wanting to say I Love You but he beat me to it. We were chatting on yahoo in the doodle environment and he drew I love you to me in dot to dots. I sat there in awe wondering if what I was seeing was really there so I connected the dots and put a 2 after it. About a week later I drew him a picture of a park and us holding hands and our 5 kid's playing. I said it can't get any better than that that. He said I can think of one thing better. He drew two stick figures facing each other and a minister saying " You may now kiss the bride" I was like Wow! That was an awesome proposal. Of course I felt the need to be funny back and wrote in Well kiss her already. And from that point on our relationship and feelings were getting stronger and we had never even met in person. It was now November and he was coming home on R and R on his mid tour leave. I took it upon myself, with a few tidbits of information he had given, to find out when his flight would be arriving in Dallas and drove 3 hours to pick him up and surprise him. The picture posted with this story is the first time we met. Someone who didn't know us or our story snapped it and two others. Capturing to us what was the greatest day of our lives. Soulmates that came from similar worlds and were always just a block away took a detour and ran into each other to start what will be the greatest adventure either of us has ever been on. That was November 20th. We were married on December 1, 2005. By then his leave was at an end and he returned to Iraq on December 6th. We are able to talk on the phone and by internet still. We are able to write letters also. I wanted to find a way to tell our story so he would know how meeting him changed my life. And to let everyone else know that know matter if you have been hurt a million times don't give up because when you stop looking and just have faith Love finds you. We were lucky to find each other and we both strive daily to keep our love alive. When you truly love someone no distance is to great and no length of time is to long. Because nothing is worth having that isn't worth waiting for. So for now until our day comes I am and will be
Awaiting my loves return. I love you Sweetheart.
Love Always and Forever Yours Tiffany